A workday poem…

“Imagine If Email Could Power a Rocketship”

 

Imagine if email could power a rocketship,

Every meeting request fuel to take you into the sky,

That angry email from the other department giving you an extra boost.

Imagine if email could power a rocketship,

What wondrous adventures you would have sitting at your desk,

Traveling to the moon, a most magical place.

It’s not made of cheese, but rather of 2 hour lunch breaks,

And the man in the moon, why, he just poured you a beer!

Imagine if email could power a rocketship.

 

Imagine if email was a puppy,

With text, signature lines, and attachments so fluffy,

Why, you feel so loved, because email loves you.

Someone sent you a red exclamation point email,

Which urgently wants to lick your face and wag its tail!

Imagine if email was a puppy,

With organizational folders like ‘fetch,’ ‘roll over,’ and ‘good boyyyyyy,’

And you never delete an email, you just pet it all day long.

Imagine if email was a puppy.

 

Imagine if email was your favorite YouTube video,

Where buffering never existed,

And each new email notification was a promise of laughter.

Imagine that email about a budget or a discipline case

Was actually a Sassy Gay Friend video, because budgets are a stupid bitch.

Imagine if email was really just your favorite YouTube video,

And that invitation to a lunch and learn you want to delete,

Turned out to be videos about Earl Grey Tea and cute dogs eating people food.

You always moan when you get the email from your boss asking you to work Saturday,

But wait, that email is actually just a super cut of Tina’s moans,

Moans that are much better than yours, like Bob’s Burgers is better than Saturday work.

Imagine if email was actually just your favorite YouTube video.

A YouTube video of Captain Puppy piloting his rocketship through space.

 

 

Hey, look.  You got eight emails while reading my poem.

You should probably answer those.

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